The Third Wheel

By Kadi

Usually that term is rife with negative connotations. According to, it is “one who deters the socialization of a couple, perhaps when being invited out of pity or through a feeling of duty. A person who can ruin an activity you have planned with your significant other by inviting themselves or guilting you into inviting them”. Umm, OUCH. All of this may be enough to make me jump off a bridge, except well, it doesn’t. Of course there are times when loneliness creeps in and I wish the circumstances were different. But for the most part, I can look back with pride at the friendship that I’ve built not only with Myka AND her husband, but with other friends and their significant others as well. I’ve found that the key to beating third wheel syndrome is to stick to these 3 rules:

1. Respect the space of the couple
2. Get out of your own head
3. Form a genuine friendship with my friend’s significant other

Whether I need a tennis partner, am going for a run, or simply asking for advice from a man’s point of view to help me deal with the steady parade of underemployed and inappropriate suitors that I find myself with, all of my friends’ husbands and boyfriends have come in extremely handy.

With holiday party season in full swing, it is usually reason for a third wheeler like myself to go into full on panic mode. Dating in Lala land is hell for a single girl, and the Xmas party season magnifies it times 50. My plan is to just go with the flow and be easy on myself when navigating a room alone. Definitely easier said than done, but practice makes perfect so I should be well rehearsed by month’s end. By then I will be in Atlanta with my family (who also happens to be Myka’s family;)). Though there is ample room for me in Myka’s home, the plan is to have a room down the street at Urban Oasis (remember rule number 1!) There is a 90 percent chance that I will most likely fall asleep on Myka’s couch after one too many bottles of wine or champagne, but the option will be there for me to escape, or more importantly, for them to kick me out.

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