I had a baby 6 weeks ago. I did it at home with no drugs and only my Midwife, my mother and my boyfriend to assist. It was great. Exactly how I had imagined it, and afterwards I got to lie in my own bed, on my own sheets and stare at my son uninterrupted and with no overly ventilated hospital gown.
Giving birth was the most beautiful and empowering thing I have ever done…and I’ve done a lot of shit. You know how everyone tells you that it changes you and life will never be the same blah, blah, blah? Well, it’s true. From the moment my midwife placed him on my belly, I was done. Game over. Life as we knew it is no more, and even though I haven’t slept longer than 3 hours at a time in the past 6 weeks, it’s been great, even when it hasn’t been.
What I’ve learned:
Everything is fluid. I’m a bit of a control freak and not having things organized can drive me batty. However, having a newborn will test your patience in ways you never imagined. Just when you think you’ve gotten something figured out “Oh, this is when he takes naps!” – it changes. Then it changes again. Remaining flexible is key. Otherwise you will definitely snap.
Get some Depends for post partum. Forget those maternity pads and those stupid mesh panties. Get your Lisa Rinna on and grab some depends. Trust me.
If no one feeds you, you will not eat. The first two weeks were great, people brought me food and I ate in the bed with my son by my side. Then I got tired of being cooped up and ventured downstairs on my own and it was over. No one brought me anything anymore and I was responsible for feeding myself. Hasn’t happened. I only eat things with one hand while bouncing an infant in the other so my diet during the day has mainly consisted of green juices, fruit and popcorn.
You will discover who your real friends are. Your real friends bring you food. They call you every two days to ask how you are doing. They visit and text and tell you how beautiful you look when you both know that you look like shit. True friendship.
Only the most essential items get done. Imagine doing everything you need to do in 2 hours a day with one hand strapped behind your back and you have a pretty good idea of what life is like with a newborn.
Childbirth is not as bad as I thought. I’m not saying it was easy, but all the TV scenes of screaming at your partner, tears, etc? Dramatized. Not saying I didn’t scream…but it was much more civilized. At least in my opinion, perhaps Navarro says differently….
What I gave up:
Time. Everything takes forever. It takes at least 2 weeks to respond to a voicemail. Emails even longer. Don’t ask me to do an actual task – that may or may not happen.
Modesty. I was never much concerned with being modest, but now I really don’t care. My boobs have been whipped out at dinner, while getting coffee and in the backseat of the car. Wherever. Baby has to eat and I have to feed him.
The ability to laugh without peeing. It’s getting better, but things down there definitely take a while to heal. You can’t hold much of anything due to weak muscles so I’ll let you use your imagination…yeah…fun times.
Motherhood.
